Miffy

“AND NOW, THE END IS NEAR. AND SO I FACE THE FINAL CURTAIN. MY FRIEND, I’LL SAY IT CLEAR. I’LL STATE MY CASE, OF WHICH I’M CERTAIN. I’VE LIVED A LIFE THAT’S FULL. I TRAVELED EACH AND EVERY HIGHWAY AND MORE, MUCH MORE THAN THIS, I DID IT MY WAY”

My Way | Frank Sinatra

What is your favourite toy and why?

My stuffed penguin (when I was younger) – it used to just sit there and let me hump it, bite it and lick it. Ahhh I loved that penguin. I don’t have any toys these days…I’m a bit old…

How does it feel to be the most desirable pet on earth?

Well of course, I am the Queen of the house, so of course I’m desirable!

What is the funniest thing you have ever done?

Humping my penguin toy as well as the draught stopper my humans used to leave lying around. Oh, and licking my human’s toes under the bed covers!

What is the naughtiest thing you have ever done?

Pooing in the house and then carrying it away to a secret room to eat it – I thought I was just cleaning up after myself!

If you could be anything or anyone in the world who or what would that be and why?

A bird…so I could fly away at a moments notice! That would have come in handy with my late friend Max – he really got on my nerves in the latter part of his life.

Who is your favourite family member and why?

My human Mum of course. She does everything for me – really not a fan of kids…or men for that matter…I tolerate them.

If you could be granted three wishes, what they be?

1. To never have to have a tablet ever again

2. Cuddles on demand

3. Endless amounts of chicken – fried, BBQ’d or steamed…I’m not picky when it comes to chicken

Who or what inspires you?

Cats – they know how to live and they own their owners…without them knowing it! So clever!

If you won lotto, how would you spend the money?

Buy myself a mansion I deserve as I am the Queen so I could bark at everyone that came past – I used to love barking at people and animals…when I could see and hear them! I also loved to run in the fields, bounding like a rabbit. Ahhh those were the good old days!

What did you last dream about?

Don’t know…I can’t remember…I’m a bit forgetful these days…probably about cuddles on the lounge with my humans.

What do you think your human family members dream about?

Probably about me… I am extremely cute, and I’m very cuddly, how could you not dream about me?

If you were to write a reference for your human parents what would it say?

They are attentive (most of the time), provide good food, lots of cuddles, and play on command. Highly recommend this family.

What would your autobiography be called?

“I did it my way”

You’ve just won a Grammy Award. What would you say in your ‘Thank You’ speech?

“I’d like to thank my humans for their dedication and support, I couldn’t have done it without them. To my late friend/partner Max, who could be the most annoying companion, but provided me with plenty of material for my music! He was my sounding board and my sparring partner, and I owe a lot of my songs to him and his hyperactive way of living life. I will miss you, you smelly old man! Lastly, thank you to all of my supporters and fans…I don’t like the limelight and can get a bit cranky at times, but without you I wouldn’t be where I am today, so thank you.”

Where is your favourite place to sleep?

In my cat bed of course. I like to be warm and cosy.

What’s your favourite thing to do when the rest of the family is asleep?

Take a turn about the house…smell some stuff, stare at the wall for a while, then go to sleep. It’s very relaxing.

You’re home alone. What’s the first thing you do?

I sleep mostly now, but when I was younger I would wait and see if the humans would return, if not I would bark at anything and everything that passed my fence, just to keep the place safe. I don’t think they liked it much though…I did get into trouble a few times…

You’re a celebrity musician. What’s the name of your next hit single?

“Visions”

What did you think of your Tame & Wild Studio Experience?

I was afraid at first – so many weird smells, but it wasn’t so bad. The guy who took the photos was actually ok and gave good cuddles surprisingly. I didn’t like having to sit next to Max though…man he fidgets a lot! My humans seemed pretty happy so I guess it was good. I only do these things for them.

What are you actually thinking when you look at me with that look of misery crossed with boredom?

I’m just wondering why you are looking at me! You’re always staring at me and making weird faces.

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